In 2009 I wanted to quit my job. But I did not. Instead I took a new job in my same company but with different people, new tasks, and lots of new things to learn, to conquer and ultimately to be successful with.
So I did not quit. I stayed. I was too scared to go.
It was wonderful and a blessing that I stayed. I was just stagnant and needed something fresh, but I did not need to leave – nor was I ready to go.
Also, of course there were financial and environmental challenges that forced my decision. And have continued to keep me here for the last 4-5 years. But now, for the past year and a half, I have steadily crept towards a new mission. I am doing so by continually trying to “reduce our financial footprint” as I like to call it, until we can get by on a significantly less amount of income.
It has been an uphill battle. We have been met with serious resistance by our 100 year old house that likes to break all the time. Plus declining 401ks and non-existent pay increases did not help either. Heck, we even weathered some pretty decent pay cuts to be frank. But in the current environment we were just happy to have 2 incomes and to be keeping our head above water. So we just held on and hoped for a tide change to push us closer to my vision on the horizon of financial freedom and being a full time writer and living in full time mom-ness.
Then we had a blow I doubt many could overcome. Medical bills. Crushing, massive, overwhelming medical bills. From December 2010 through now we have spent about $150,000 on medical expenses. My husband is sick. And there is nothing we can do to change it. Years of tests, medicines, doctors and thousands of dollars have told us this and we have accepted it and are just waiting for what comes next.
So why wait in an environment that does not inspire you and that you love. Lets change as least that. So I will. We will keep pushing towards a smaller financial footprint. We will live with less (I hear that is pretty hip these days anyway). And we will enjoy the freedom and happiness that comes from more time and less stress. I know we can get there. We just have to hope, work and pray for the reality to come into focus. soon.
So what is the plan? Well, this time next year if things go right we will be at the end of my career – a very wonderful career. That I love. That I have cherished. That has afforded me and my family all that we have. It has been a place where I have made friendships that I will keep forever. It has been a place where I grew up.
I was 25, and a new (single) mom when I began my job. Now, when I leave hopefully next year this time – at 40 years old with a teenager and a loving husband and lifelong friendships and SO much experience, training and knowledge – I will do so knowing that our relationship has been a healthy and happy one. One where we both benefited greatly and supported each other in amazing ways. I will never forget this career or allow time or distance to lessen the importance it has had on my life. But I am ready to move on.
Who knows, maybe 5-10 years from now I will come back. If they will have me. My hope is that if and when I do it is in yet another capacity. One that I had hoped for since the day I stepped into the doors of this building. As a writer. One that captures hearts and minds and changes opinion – OR one that just makes someone smile or laugh and then move on with the rest of their day. Regardless, If it is here or somewhere else , I hope I will have the strength and talent needed to do what I love for a living. Not everyone is so lucky or blessed. I am trying to have faith that I will be both.